


precious (overture)

by sunshinejohnny



Series: it's complicated (woosan au) [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Drabble, M/M, Sad, argument?, tiny bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 14:57:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21448072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinejohnny/pseuds/sunshinejohnny
Summary: prequel to "back to you"
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Series: it's complicated (woosan au) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546231
Kudos: 37





	1. I-together

[9:33 pm] wooyoung chuckled at the tv, shoving another handful of popcorn into his mouth. upon hearing the front door open, his smile faded from his face. san was home.

he could hear the familiar sound of san placing his keys in the bowl by the front door, hearing the lock on the front door close with a small _click_, and the shuffling of his boyfriend’s feet as he walked around the house in his bunny slippers. wooyoung had given them to him as a valentine’s day present, and it seemed san had taken quite a liking to them.

san walked into the living room wearing his favorite red hoodie (which he had stolen from wooyoung) and light blue ripped jeans. his bunny slippers completed the outfit.

“wooyoungie!!”

wooyoung put his popcorn down and smiled. no matter what kind of day he was having, san always greeted him with a smile. it was one of the many things he loved about the older boy. and one of the many reasons he felt he didn’t deserve him.

san invited himself on the couch, sitting next to wooyoung and wrapping his arms around the younger boy, burying his face in his chest. over time, wooyoung had learned this was his (very cute) unspoken way of asking for cuddles, and who was wooyoung to deny him?

“ahh you’re so warm,” san sighed, his voice muffled in wooyoung’s grey sweatshirt.

wooyoung could tell san had a stressful day by the way his shoulders slumped, and by how quick his body was to relax as soon as he leaned into wooyoung. he’d learned these little things about san during the years they had known eachother. even before they’d started dating, san had been a very clingy person, which had only escalated after they got together because his confidence was slightly boosted.

wooyoung presses kisses to the top of san’s head. he could hear san’s quiet giggles as he did so. san to him was, simply put, perfect. always greeting everyone with a bright smile, willing to give without receiving in return, and showering his boyfriend with endless love, most of which wooyoung felt he didn’t deserve. san’s love truly knew no bounds, and wooyoung had learned this early on, that san would shower him with endless compliments, showing him constant affection as a reminder of his adoration for the younger boy.

it often made wooyoung shy, especially when he got more touchy in public. whenever he was impatient he would let his hands roam, finding their way to the back pockets of wooyoung’s jeans.

the two boys sat in silence for a while, just revealing in each others warmth, spouting random compliments to each other every so often.

san lifted his head, brushing wooyoung’s bangs out of his eyes. wooyoung gave him a soft smile, and leaned down to meet his lips. san reciprocated the kiss, sighing as he leaned into wooyoung’s lips, moving at a steady pace. the kiss wasn’t rushed, it was needy. it was slow and gentle, like everything san did.

wooyoung had been rubbing his hand along san’s back, san still laying on his chest, pressing kisses to his collarbones every so often. the feeling of just being with each other like this was nice. almost too nice. nice enough to feel like something he didn’t deserve. like just about every other moment they shared together.

wooyoung saw himself as someone who had nothing to give, nothing to contribute to his boyfriend. whereas san was constantly showering him with endless love, and he did his best to match that through his actions, but he often felt they fell short. he knew none of this was san’s fault, but rather his own, for lacking so much. san deserved better. he’d thought this for a while, and had been thinking about how to tell him for the longest time.

“baby?”

“mh?” san mumbled, tracing shapes onto the back of wooyoung’s hand 

“i-“ wooyoung stooped himself and sighed. all the times he’d practiced in the mirror, and it still wasn’t the same as the real thing.

“what is it?” san was now craning his neck to look at wooyoung, absent mindedly playing with his fingers.

“it’s nothing really. or maybe it’s something? i- i don’t know. i’m sorry forget i said anything, what a waste of time.” wooyoung forced a smile onto his face, shaking his head.

san had stopped playing with wooyoung’s fingers and was instead lacing his fingers through the youngers.

“hey, you can tell me anything you know that? take your time, i’m not going anywhere.” san pressed a soft kiss to the back of his hand, which had helped calm him down a bit.

wooyoung took a deep breath before he began.

“basically none of this is your fault and i’m sorry i haven’t done enough to contribute to our relationship and i just don’t do enough for you and it just makes me seem lazy which i’m not i just get,, busy and work and everything and i never cook for you anymore and we haven’t been on a date in forever and- and this isn’t the way you should be treated.” he was now sniffling, not even trying to stop his first few tears from falling. san immediately brought his hand up to wipe wooyoung’s face.

“i just think maybe because i’m like this, not ... not _good _enough maybe, you’d be better off with someone else, who can make time for you and give you the love you deserve. not whatever this-” he hues gestured to himself, “is.” his tears were nonstop now. san continued to wipe them with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, a hurt look on his face.

wooyoung felt even worse seeing his expression. here san was, spending and evening he could be using to study, wiping his boyfriend’s tears. his boyfriend who wasn’t worth his time and was a distraction. that’s what wooyoung felt he was. a broken distraction. he could only do so much before he caved in to the small voice in his head, the one that told him he wasn’t good enough to be with _anyone_, let alone san. and san was his clean up crew. he picked up wooyoung’s broken pieces, and put them back together best he could. and each time he did it, he did it while looking at wooyoung like with stars in his eyes.

upon hearing what wooyoung was saying, san immediately sat up, taking in each and every word and wiping the first few tears that fell from his eyes. a frown grew on his face as he realized what wooyoung was really trying to say.

his boyfriend had finished speaking and could barely look san in the eyes.

“wooyoungie look at me,”

wooyoung met his gaze, his eyes red and puffy, chewing his lip anxiously.

“i love you.”

wooyoung shook his head as soon as the words left san’s mouth, tears falling onto his lap.

“you don’t get it. you shouldn’t,” wooyoung barely whispered.

san chewed his lip.

“wooyoung i love you. i know you hear this often, but i would never say something to you i don’t mean. does that sound like something i’d do?”

wooyoung shook his head slightly. san was now absentmindedly playing with wooyoungs fingers, tracing shapes into his palms.

wooyoung could feel him drawing hearts all over the palm of him hand.

“i. love. you. not someone else. you. jung wooyoung. my best friend. my boyfriend. i have thought about this time and time again, and i’m absolutely sure i want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

wooyoung continued to shake his head.

“i’m- i don’t do enough for you. it’s not what you deserve.”

“just being with you makes me beyond happy. please, hear what i’m saying. you are _enough. _you are _more _than enough. you’re everything i could ever ask for, and more. wooyoung, please hear me,” san pleaded. he could feel his eyes sting with tears that threatened to fall. wooyoung’s behavior was beginning to worry him.

wooyoung wipes his eyes with his sleeve, only drying his face for a few moments before new tears fell. san watched his tears fall, no longer wiping them, no longerplaying with his hands. his hands sat limply by his sides, his body numb. as he chewed his lip, he could taste the salt of his tears on his lips. he refused to wipe them.

"i love you. why aren't you saying it back," san whined. wooyoung felt a sharp pain in his chest after hearing those words.

“i’m broken. i’m broken san, and it’s not fair of me to leave you to put my pieces together every time i can’t do it alone. it’s like being babysat almost. i hate putting you through that. just thinking about it makes me wonder why you care so much, because i already know i’m not worth the time.”

it’s san’s turn to shake his head, his hands pulling inside the sleeves of his sweatshirt. wooyoung’s sweatshirt.

“you’re not broken. everyone has flaws youngie, that doesn’t make you unworthy of my love. i already told you why i care so much. and my answer won’t change.”

“it has to. your answer has to change. please make it easier for me than this already is,” wooyoung sobbed. without thinking, san immediately brought the boy into a hug, pulling him as close as he possibly could.

“wooyoung im right here. i’m not leaving. i love you, so much. i love you, i love you,” san whispered over and over to the younger boy.

“san-“ wooyoung choked, stifling another sob.

“not now. i- can’t do this now.” he could feel the taste of blood on his tongue, having bitten his lip too hard.

san was afraid to ask what he meant. but he had no choice.

“you cant do what now?” the older boy sniffled, pulling away from wooyoung.

wooyoung squeezed his eyes shut, in hopes of making what he had to say a little less painful than it already was. it didn’t work.

"wooyoung," san nearly whispered, not sure what he was going to say next.

“i want us to take a break.”

san went numb. he could feel the tears still streaming down his face, hitting his sweatshirt. his chest felt tight. everything went out of focus as his vision blurred. he felt dizzy.

all he could manage to do was nod. without another word, wooyoung stood up, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

“i’ll go. you stay here.”

wooyoung stopped in his tracks, turning to san.

“i cant kick you out.”

“you stay here. i’ll go.” san spoke in a monotone.

wooyoung sighed, then nodded.

after hearing the sound of keys and the front door close, wooyoung’s sobs grew louder, his tears blurring his vision. his head began to hurt. the tears still came.


	2. II-san

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> san's pov

it only took a few minutes for san to pack a couple days worth of clothes, already having a destination in mind.

grabbing his house keys, he unlocked the front door, backpack on his shoulders. he had no more tears left. he was just numb. he felt nothing, paid attention to nothing. if it hadn’t been for the senior he’d passed by, he would’ve fallen down the stairwell. he supposed it wouldn’t have been too bad anyways.

mingi paused his movie, wondering who could possibly be knocking on his door this late. he knew yunho didn’t return from his overseas studies until a few months later, and he wasn’t expecting anyone at this time.

he opened his front door to find san staring back at him, his backpack sagging from his back. it wasn’t uncommon for san to show up unannounced, but this time there was something wrong, mingi could tell. his eyes were red and puffy.

the second their eyes met there was an unspoken understanding between them. mingi knew not to push him, knowing he could make it worse than it already was. instead he stepped aside and let san in, closing the door behind him.

he let san go about his business, hearing the bathroom sink run from his seat on the couch. san would come to him when he was ready, mingi had learned.

however, after half an hour of scrolling through his phone, he realized san was probably alseep in yunho’s bed. his roommate was studying abroad for the semester and had told san to make himself welcome whenever he wanted, as he knew mingi would enjoy the company.

he got up from his seat on the couch to go check on him. sure enough when he opened yunho’s door, san was curled up on the bed. but he wasn’t sleeping. instead he laid on top of the blankets, quiet sobs filling the silence. immediately mingi was filled with worry. he had a gut feeling as to what might have caused this.

“sannie, can i lay down with you?” mingi asked him as gently as possible.

“okay,” san sniffled. mingi laid down beside san, wrapping his arm around the older boy’s waist, pulling san’s head to his shoulder.

“do you want to talk about it?”

san sniffed.

“he told me- he told me he wasn’t good enough for me. i told him he was. he’s the only one i want. why doesn’t he understand that?”

mingi sighed.

“you didn’t do anything wrong sannie. give him time. he needs to work on himself before he’s ready to come back to you. he’ll come back. i promise.”

san stifled a sob, burying his head in mingi’s shoulder. he could feel his shirt become wet with tears.

at some point san run out of tears and fell asleep, his head tucked into the crook of mingi’s neck.


	3. III-wooyoung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wooyoung's pov

wooyoung finished his glass of water just as the front door closed. he reached into his pocket for his phone, his hands shaking slightly.

_i think i made a mistake_

he hit send and reached for his glass which sat on the counter. only, when he tried to grasp it his hands were uncontrollably shaking, and instead of picking it up, he knocked the glass on the ground, and it shattered by his feet.

he continued to cry, not knowing what else to do.

he barely registered the sound of the front door open and close. yeosang immediately ran to the kitchen upon having heard wooyoung’s sobs. it only took him a moment to notice the glass on the ground, and he went to the closet for the broom and dustpan.

wooyoung sniffled, his tears still falling.

“i’m so sorry, i’ll do it it’s ok,” wooyoung mumbles, reaching down to pick up a large shard of glass that had landed by his foot. when he brought his hand back up it was covered in blood.

“shit wooyoung.”

yeosang quickly brushed all the glass into a pile, pushing wooyoung away from it and towards the bathroom. sitting wooyoung down on the toilet, he took a wet cloth and dabbed at the cut on wooyoung’s palm. the glass had sliced it clean across the side. luckily it didn’t look deep enough for stitches.

wrapping his hand in gauze, yeosang took one last look at wooyoung before sighing. san wasnt here. that could only mean he’d gone through with what he said he would do a few weeks prior.

minutes later, wooyoung found himself in bed, covers tucked to his chin. yeosang sat on the chair by his desk, keeping a close eye on wooyoung. he waited there until his friend fell asleep, injured hand draped over his pillow. yeosang sighed.

he’d hoped wooyoung wouldn’t go through with it. he tried to tell him just how much it would hurt san. wooyoung had no idea.

everytime yeosang was with san, wooyoung was all he talked about. and everytime he did it with the biggest smile on his face, his eyes oozing with pure adoration for the younger boy. san without wooyoung was still san, but slightly less bright. but wooyung didn’t know that. he saw himself as a cloud, constantly raining on san’s parade, holding him back from being truly happy.

this wasn’t the case for san. the way san saw it, wooyoung was everything good in the world and could do no wrong. as long as wooyoung was by his side, he was happy.

but wooyoung has given up something precious. and he wasn’t sure he would get him back this time.


End file.
